“If I had known” A poem of love in middle life.

If I had known.

If I had known then what I know now
Would I have given you my heart?
Or if the future year
had been stretched out in front of me
With all its facets like a canvas,
Dark colours mingling amongst the gold
Would I have chosen the path I did,
to walk with you.
When you came into my heart garden,
Man with the silver guitar,
Not knowing you, I loved you and let you in.

When the sun sparkles on the sea
And laughter dances in your eyes,
When sweet breezes carry
soft words across the insignificant space
From you to me,
and understanding breathes between our souls,
I reach out and put my hand in yours,
And feeling that intrinsic linking of our lives
The belonging that makes us one,
And I know I love you.

But when the dark clouds shroud the brightness of the sun

And words that were so sweet and tender drift away.
When harsh and angry jibes snipe and wound
where Tenderness would heal and understand

Do I love you less

Or regret the giving of my heart?

I will answer this my beloved,

This dilemma of all human relationships.

I want always to have you in my heart and love you forever.
I would that no cloud ever come across our sky
And all the colours of our picture be reflected by the sun.
But I would also have reality and life in all its fullness.

So, dark there must be, to make the light the brighter.

And I would speak to you
the tender words that take away the pain
Dare to say I’m sorry, and work toward a peaceful harmony.
I would honour always, the love that makes you mine.
And defend that love forever.

We walk this way together my dearest one
You the troubadour and me your lady.
And what we build will be, must be, real.
Last years fantasy has blown away, a transparent bubble on the breeze
But this year, this day, this time, is real, trusting, safe.
Born out of pain and struggle
Painted in dark colours amongst the gold

If I had know then what I know now Would I……….?
A thousand times my darling, without a doubt,
I would!

 

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