I was waiting for inspiration and of all things the recycling Refuse collectors gave it to to me!
I am, what my husband euphemistically calls an ‘Eco Warrior” recycling everything I possibly can! On the fortnightly collection day of the ‘Blue’ bins I rush around finding every odd bit of paper, nearly empty bottles that have to be emptied, washed and piled in there so I can watch with pleasure as they tip it up into the back of their huge lorry, cascading all my rubbish out like an ecological waterfall and take away to use. I imagine every paper bag, plastic bottle and washed-out tin going on its journey and arriving at a place where somehow it is sorted out into nice little piles and pulped down to the material needed to create something completely new.
So, when I buy Toilet rolls, or a lovely pack of writing paper, or when I find unusual gifts for others in the shape of ornaments or jewellery and read on the label that they have been made from recycled materials I feel a sense of togetherness with the creating, and a part of the greater picture of things.
I have always loved the sense of working with the Creator when I am in the garden planting the little plants in the Spring and nurturing and caring for them through the months of growth and flowering. In the evening, when we have had a succession of dry days and the ground is cracked and dusty, I go round with the watering-can and watch as rain-water stored in the butt, splashes out and the hard ground drinks it in, darkening and moistening as it feeds the thirsty plant or shrub. I feel that I have fulfilled a responsibility to the earth and that I am working alongside the Creator to look after His world.
Then I started thinking about me and how God is recycling me!! Or, to be more precise how God recycles our experience so that He can use it to make new and different experiences in our lives and so that He can bless others from our learning.
I was reminded of the way I felt when I was the ‘Wobbly-legged-lamb’ and how much I learned at that time about the love of the Great Shepherd of the sheep who cares for us and loves us even when we are in the valley.
I probably remembered this because I was having another ‘little wobble’ and realised that yet again I was getting anxious as I looked at the waves rising around my boat and took my eyes off the Saviour walking on the water and saying ‘Get out of the boat and trust me’
So I remembered those things that I learned from! I let God recycle the pain and the anxiety that had been my experience, to help me to understand myself in a new and deeper way. I realised that when I take my focus off the Healing love of Jesus I start to look at what is happening rather than the one who takes care of me in all my happenings! I start to listen to the voices that speak to me negative defeatist words rather than listening to His voice speaking words of hope and light and victory.
I know that God supplies all my needs and that I can trust Him with my life, because He has told me this in His word and because He has shown this in my life over and over again. But when the money is going down in my account and I cannot see how to make it last until my pension comes in, or when I am awake in the night with pain still in my shoulders…..or when I can see our great ‘trip of a life-time’ getting nearer and I wonder how I will manage such an adventure!….when I don’t even do a day in London without some level 3 panic!……then I start to spiral downward into the old place of doubt and fear!
So it is then that I need to read His words and remind myself of all the messages I have received from Him at those other times, about Jesus being with me and never leaving me…..and about Him supplying all my needs…. and that ‘Perfect Love (God’s love) casts out ALL fear’……and to ‘Trust in the Lord with ALL my heart and not lean on my own understanding’ …..because it is, after all, my own understanding that is so limited, only seeing the present situation at that moment and not seeing the bigger picture that stretches on and on where He is ‘Planning in love for me’…..and that is His love ‘recycled’ in my life again and again and again!